Sophie Kinsella’s MY NOT SO PERFECT LIFE meets BAD MOMS: Since her mom’s death, Lanie’s been trying to keep her chin up and live her best life, no thanks to her MIA husband, wicked mother-in-law, and kids that need her for everything. E-VER-Y-THING. At least she has her health…or does she?
“A Filet-O-Fish. They gave me a mother flipping Filet-O-Fish. That sounds nothing like a Big Mac with extra cheese.”
“Agreed. And not nearly as high caloric as the entire pound cake you polished off yesterday.” My best friend Mikey’s sarcasm oozes through the phone like the tartar sauce dripping from the sandwich I didn’t order.
“What’s the point of a drive-thru when you have to leave your car to go inside and get what you ordered?” I slam my minivan door shut with more force than necessary and stomp my Crocs toward the Golden Arches. “And who the hell even orders a Filet-o-Fish anyway? It’s not even Lent.” I pause trying to orient myself to what month we’re in, but my mom brain isn’t computing. “It’s not Lent, right?”
“Beats me, Cupcake. You know I stopped going to church when Pastor Cal told me Adam was meant to lay with Eve, not Steve. Which reminds me, I have a date tonight.”
“Shocking.” Mikey makes a habit of collecting two things; men and designer clothing. Though to be fair, he used to be a buyer for Nordstrom. Used to, as in, I don’t get the friends discount anymore. Which as you can imagine, is super sucky. “Which dating app did you find this one on?”
“Tinder, and don’t hate because you’re hangry and eating a nuked triple cheese hockey puck while Jean Luc wines and dines me.”