TRAINWRECK x THE WEDDING PARTY. Everything goes wrong for commitment-phobic Eden, the third wheel on a Vegas “girls” trip, until she lands in a pile of vomit -- spitting distance from a man she friend-zoned twenty years ago. Now a fan of swipe-right, Luke is well-equipped to relieve her, ahem, frustrations. But as passions escalate, Eden questions whether a happily-ever-after is in the cards.
With visions of martinis and manicures, I squeeze into my seat, without complaint, even though I’m sandwiched between two men large enough to block for the Bears. Suck it up, buttercup, this vacation is exactly what you need. Promised a four-day weekend in the sun with my girls, I head to Las Vegas, the veritable adult Disneyland, to celebrate Melissa’s 40th birthday.
The plane lurches up, down and side to side. Sadly, those pre-boarding Bloody Marys prove to be an unfortunate choice. Is this the end? Incinerated between my two princes, Big and Bigger, one of whom, by the sound of him, would greatly benefit from a sleep machine? (If my seatmates had to be ballers, why not place kickers?)
As we climb higher, I hunker down and try to mellow out. Shit, I’m lucky to even be here. My laptop fully ate my article this morning, just as I was desperately trying to upload it. Then, I had to do an O.J. to make boarding. (No, not that kind of O.J.; the frantically running through the airport to catch a flight, rental car O.J.).
As a freelance writer, I live and die by the pitch. No one bites? I starve. I wasn’t sure I’d pull off Vegas. But New Year’s came and bam, my story – framed as Girls Gone Wild sprinkled with Real Housewives and a diverse cast of Golden Girls – sold.