Ernest will do anything to prove his true gender to his classmates, and his plan is simple: join his new school’s illustrious Borrow a Boyfriend club, where members rent themselves out to their classmates for dates. After all, the club has “boy” right there in the title. But in order to become a member, Ernest has to show off his boyfriend skills and romance the club’s prickish president. Not a problem. It’s not like they’re going to fall in love or anything.
The last thing I expected to see during my first day at Wickminster High was FA LA LA LA FUCK THIS SCHOOL spelled along the snow in festive holiday lights.
Crowds of my future classmates were gathered excitedly around the green and red flickering profanity. Three teachers desperately gesticulated at them to keep walking, but no one listened. Instead, they lingered, pointing and taking pictures.
When Mom and Dad asked what my new high school was like during our weekly pizza night, this would not be mentioned.
As I passed by the laughter and whispers, I pulled my puffer jacket hood higher over my head, just in case someone felt like the new kid was more interesting than the flashing f-word. Once I was through the entrance doors, the counseling and main offices were right in front of me. My heart rate picked up. Game time.
I gripped the straps of my backpack tighter and kept up my turtle impersonation until the main office doors shut behind me. The school secretary pressed a phone between his ear and shoulder as he typed rapidly on a laptop, sweat beading above his brow. On the countertop, there was a nameplate that had Sonny written on it in cursive.
“Fa la la la what now?” Sonny was in a bad mood.