Eleanor Oliphant X The Office
Office misfit Jolene manages her petty grievances with her colleagues via passive aggressive stunts. When she accidentally gains access to everyone’s emails, she realizes they’ve all got something to hide—and she might actually like them. But as Jolene uses her newfound knowledge to help them, her own carefully constructed lies are at risk of being exposed.
There will be questions. Ones I don’t have socially acceptable answers for. I know this because today is my birthday, and I was summoned for a last-minute meeting. A poorly disguised office cake party is the worst thing to happen to me since I turned thirty-three, six and half hours ago. We’ll all be there against our will to eat dry sheet cake and force polite smiles. Also, the questions will be about my life and how I plan to celebrate. Answers: I don’t have a life and will likely celebrate by drinking alone and going down Reddit rabbit holes researching random and upsetting things like fecal-matter transplants, or the Golden State Killer, while making myself regret everything. I’m not sure that’s relatable, so I’ll say I’m having dinner with friends. They force me to lie just to fit into the Western Regional Office of Supershops Incorporated.
The meeting reminder flashes on my screen again, like a pesky cold sore. And I consider just walking away from it all. I look from my name-card that still faintly reads: Jolene Smith after years of violently fluorescent lighting, to the three pushpins that pierce the industrial fabric of my cubicle wall. They’ve always been there, even though I never got the urge to pin anything up.
And I don’t think that I could ever leave them.