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Pitch Wars Showcase

Please note: These are the entries for the Pitch Wars season beginning in 2021 and continuing through 2022. Please note that our Agent Showcase ends at 9:00 p.m. ET on Monday, February 14, 2022. Agents will not be able to leave comments requesting material after that time.
YA #25: ENVY (Thriller #Diverse #OwnVoices)
Nicole Green
Mentored by:
KC Johnson
Book Title:
2018 Entries
Thriller #Diverse #OwnVoices
Word Count:



A good con relies on theatrics and misdirection. Grifter Malayka Simms has mastered both. But switching places with her newly found, wealthy identical twin will push her skills to their limits.

Especially when Malayka’s twin goes missing.



Branches crowd together overhead, russet and gold leaves still clinging to their limbs. The suburbs bleeding into suburbs bleeding into suburbs that make up NoVa press in on all sides. The houses forcing out green spaces are predatory vines leaching life from a tree.

Walking down the side of the road, I’m wiry, jumpy. Today, I finally meet my sister. She’s broken me and made me whole all at once with the truth. Today starts an adventure, a homecoming. A reckoning.

My twin, Malayka, waits at the end of this walk. She was ripped from me seventeen years ago. Over the past few months, she’s revealed herself in secret conversations. Swapped photographs. Carefully planned phone calls.

My parents abandoned my sister and adopted only me. Survivor’s guilt rankles. It’s clawed at me since Malayka told me what my parents did. She deserves a chance at success equal to mine. It’s what’s fair.

Daddy’s endowment gives four years of education to three well-deserving high school seniors every year. Meanwhile, his niece and sister-in-law suffer.

A black Nissan Altima passes and slows before pulling to the side of the road. The passenger side window rolls down as I jog to catch up with the car.

“S.J.” I lean inside.  If you can have platonic soulmates? S.J. is mine. His brown eyes turn a touch golden in the dying sunlight. He shakes dreadlocks out of his face.

“What are you doing out here?” S.J. asks.

12 responses to “YA #25: ENVY (Thriller #Diverse #OwnVoices)”

  1. Jess Dallow says:

    Hi Nicole,

    This sounds awesome! I’d love to take a look at the full manuscript. Can you send it – as well as your query letter – to me at jess@browerliterary.com with PITCH WARS and your title in the subject? Thanks! Can’t wait to read.

  2. Andrea Cascardi says:

    I love the voice of this excerpt and the pacing is tense and engaging. I’d love to read the full! Please can you send a word or pdf attachment to andrea+query@transatlanticagency.com? Include PitchWars mentee and the title in the subject line. Many thanks and I look forward to an engrossing read!

  3. Nicole,

    What a great concept! Must. Have. ☺ Can you send me the pitch, the full, and a synopsis (2-4 pages)? Please use Times New Roman, size 12, black, double-spaced text, 1” margins all around, and ½” paragraph indents. Attach the manuscript and synopsis as two separate Word documents (docx). Sent to: lynnette (at) theseymouragency (dot) com and add “Pitch Wars Request” along with your title in the subject line. Thanks.

    If more than one agent from The Seymour Agency likes your entry, please send requested material to the agent you feel will be the best fit. #OneAgentAtATime

    Looking forward to reading more.



  4. Karyn Fischer says:

    Hi Nicole,

    As a twin, I found your premise especially intriguing! If you’re interested, would you mind sending me the first 25 pages? You can query me at http://www.QueryMe.online/1325/PitchWars. To find out more about me, feel free to visit http://www.bookstopliterary.com/info.html.

    Thanks and I hope to hear from you!

    Karyn Fischer
    BookStop Literary Agency

  5. Tess Callero says:

    Hi Nicole – this sounds so dark and twisted, I’d LOVE to take a look. If you’d like to share, you can send the first 50 pages attached as a word doc to tc@cbltd.com. Thank you!

  6. Penelope Burns says:

    Hi Nicole,

    I’d love to see this! Can you send your query and full manuscript to penelope@gelfmanschneider.com with #PitchWars in the subject line? Thanks so much!

    All best,

  7. Jenny Bent says:

    I would love to see this one. Can you please send the full ms to me at info@thebentagency.com. Please put the query in the body of your email and #pitchwars in the subject line. Thanks!

  8. Jennifer Unter says:

    I’d love to read more. Please send the first 50 pages as a Word attachment to assistant@theunteragency.com. Thanks!

  9. Laura Bradford says:

    I love a good grifter story! I have such a soft spot for stories about cons and this sounds like it is going to be so much fun! Please send me the full ms + synopsis at laura@bradfordlit.com and put Pitch Wars in the subject line. Looking forward to reading more!

  10. Zabé Ellor says:

    This looks absolutely fantastic and I can’t wait to see more! Please send the query, synopsis, and first 30 pages to me via QueryManager (http://queryme.online/ZabeEllor)

    If more than one JDLA agent requests your project, please submit to the one you feel will be the best fit!

  11. Christa Heschke says:

    This sounds compelling! Please send the query, synopsis and first 100 to chquery [at] mcintoshandotis [dot] com with Pitch Wars request in the subject line. –Christa Heschke, McIntosh & Otis

  12. Hi Nicole,

    After reading your pitch and excerpt, I would love to read more of this story! If you’re interested in submitting to me, please go to QueryMe.Online/SavannahBrooks and follow the instructions for how to do so. In the title space, please put “Pitch Wars: [your manuscript title]” so I can keep track of your submission. You can paste exactly what you submitted here in the corresponding categories. After you submit, you’ll receive and automated message saying I’ll be back in touch within six weeks, but I’ll be back in touch within two.

    If more than one JD Lit agent requests from you, please feel free to submit to the agent you think is the best fit, and we’ll exchange materials among ourselves.