Have questions about submitting to Pitch Wars or just want to know what it is? Start here!

Pitch Wars Showcase

YA #31: THE TAKEDOWN (Thriller / Mystery, #ownvoices)
Mentee:
Christina Dotson
Mentored by:
RuthAnne Snow and Destiny Cole
Book Title:
The Takedown
Category:
Young Adult
Genre:
Thriller / Mystery, #ownvoices
Word Count:
69,000

Pitch:

Good girl Rylee just has to avoid her bully, Sophie, until graduation. Then she can leave her dead-end town and head to Spelman on scholarship.

Too bad her BFF is hot and heavy with Sophie’s boyfriend.

Too bad Sophie’s boyfriend crashed the girls’ spring break trip.

Too bad Sophie is trying to destroy them all.

Too bad Rylee snapped and …now Sophie’s missing.

 

Excerpt:

There are two kinds of seniors who ride the bus: poor kids and losers. My best friend Danni and I were both. If you were lucky, at least one friend in your girl squad had a car, but Danni was my only friend-so we were pretty much limited to public transportation.

“Hey, beotch,” she said, making her way down the aisle.

“You’re seriously wearing that again?” I said.

Danni glanced down as if she’d forgotten what she was wearing. “What?”

“It’s a thousand degrees and you’re wearing a turtleneck. Ever heard of heat stroke?” I fanned myself and pushed damp hair off my forehead. The armpits of my shirt were already soaked and I had to sit on my bookbag to keep my thighs from sticking to the vinyl seat.

“I like it,” she said, sliding into the seat next to me.

“If you say so.” I held back mentioning the beads of sweat dotting her hairline, but couldn’t resist adding, “You should stop letting him gnaw on you before you run out of turtlenecks.”

“Ha ha, very funny. For your information, they’re love bites.”

“Last I checked, Jared had his own girlfriend to bite.”

Danni groaned. “God, Rylee, why’d you have to bring her up? You know what Jared and I have is complicated.”

“Complicated is putting it mildly,” I muttered.

8 responses to “YA #31: THE TAKEDOWN (Thriller / Mystery, #ownvoices)”

  1. Kim Lionetti says:

    Sounds great! I’d love to take a look. Please upload the synopsis and full manuscript here: QueryMe.online/KimLionetti/PitchWars

  2. Colleen Oefelein says:

    Dear Christina,

    I’d love to have a look at this! Please see my bio at JDLit.com, and if you’d like, please send your query + synopsis pasted into the body of an email with your full attached to: colleen@adventurewrite.com with the subject, #PitchWars – THE TAKEDOWN.

    If more than one agent from JDLA requests your manuscript, please feel free to submit to the best fit.

    Thank you and looking forward to reading!
    Colleen Oefelein

  3. Joanna MacKenzie says:

    Hi Christina,
    I’d love to read more, this sounds great! Please follow the link to upload your manuscript: http://queryme.online/1353/PitchWars2019
    Warmly,
    Joanna

  4. Tess Callero says:

    I love your dialogue! And this pitch. I’d be more than happy to take a look at your work if you’d like to share! You can send the first 50 pages attached as a word doc to tc@cbltd.com. Thank you!

  5. Jana Hanson says:

    I would love to read the first five chapters of your manuscript. Please e-mail them to me at jhanson (at) metamorphosisliteraryagency (dot) com.

    Thank you, and best of luck in Pitch Wars!

    Jana Hanson

  6. Josh Getzler says:

    Very nice start. I’m interested in seeing more. Please send first 50(ish, depending on where it cuts best) to jgetzler@hsgagency.com, with pitch letter. Please include Pitchwars in the subject line. Thanks!

  7. Jenny Bent says:

    I would love to see this one. Can you please send the full ms to me at info@thebentagency.com. Please put the query in the body of your email and #pitchwars in the subject line. Thanks!

  8. Kari Sutherland says:

    I love the voice in the excerpt! Can you please send me the first 50 pages as an attachment and include “Requested PitchWars” in the subject line? Thank you! Kari – kari@bradfordlit.com